by Georgia Foley, 2028
Less than a year after finishing the highest grossing tour of all time, Taylor Swift released the most disappointing album of her career. Although some may enjoy this AI-sounding album, many of her biggest fans are struggling to defend her 12th album, The Life of a Showgirl.
Whether you like Taylor Swift’s music or not, there is no denying her extraordinary talent in songwriting, storytelling, and singing. From her country twang, to those heartbreak songs we know all too well, to the story of James, Betty, and August, Taylor Swift is nothing short of brilliant. Unfortunately, The Life of a Showgirl hasn’t quite reached the delicate beauty that her other albums have. While many fans were hoping for a similar vibe to 1989, they were surely disappointed when they heard Taylor Swift oversexualizing her music and moving away from her thoughtful and heartfelt lyricism.
Arguably her worst and most criticized song of The Life of a Showgirl, “Wood”, is a completely different vibe for Taylor Swift. Although she’s moved away from her innocent girl-next-door persona over the years with songs such as “False God” and “Guilty as Sin”, I don’t think anyone was prepared for the vulgarity of “Wood”. Even though I heard bits and pieces of this song on social media, a small part of me was hoping it wasn’t as bad as everyone made it out to be. Words cannot express my disgust when I opened Spotify and hit play to hear 2 minutes and 30 seconds of intimate information that nobody wanted to know about Taylor Swift’s fiancé, Travis Kielce. Don’t get me wrong – Swifties around the world were ecstatic to hear the news of their engagement, but I know I’m not the only one who will mourn her heartfelt breakup songs. With this whole album, and this song specifically, Taylor Swift is trying to fit into the modern pop world, as if making her music more sexual will make it more popular. She doesn’t seem to realize that millions of people around the world adore her for her storytelling and emotional music, and not whatever that was.
“Actually Romantic” is another notable song off her 12th album, although unlike “Wood”, this track is somewhat likeable. However, not everyone knows the full backstory of what seems like another catchy pop song. Taylor Swift and Charli XCX have had ongoing beef since Charli XCX equated being the opening act for Taylor Swift’s Reputation Stadium Tour to “waving to 5 year olds”. Although neither artist has ever confirmed the tension, “Actually Romantic” was interpreted by most as a jab at Charli XCX. Taylor Swift writes lines such as “High-fived my ex” and “How many times has your boyfriend said ‘why are we always talking ‘bout her’”, referencing Charli XCX’s husband who performs in the same famous band, The 1975, as Taylor Swift’s ex boyfriend. The song title itself even seems to be an insult to Charli XCX, alluding to one of her songs titled “Everything is Romantic”. Taylor Swift also makes reference to the fact that Charli XCX is known for doing hard drugs, specifically cocaine. Fans of Charli XCX were offended by this line in specific, because (strangely) being a die hard party girl is exactly what Charli XCX is known for. Overall, this song did not land well amongst fans who know the whole story, and especially not fans of Charli XCX. And as expected, despite being one of the most popular songs on The Life of Showgirl, it doesn’t come close to being as good as some of her worst songs on previous albums.
Not only is Taylor Swift being criticized for having mediocre lyrics, but also for having corny lines that leave listeners thinking she’s the definition of “millenial”. Not a single teenager heard the line “Did you girl boss too close to the sun?” and genuinely thought “Yes, Taylor. I did”. In “Eldest Daughter” she proclaims, “Every eldest daughter was the first lamb to the slaughter so we all dressed up as wolves and we looked fire”. Even if you’ve never heard of Taylor Swift in your life, you would know that she’s at least 30 years old from that line alone. Not to mention the lyric, “They want that spring break that was ****ing lit”. Nobody has unironically used the words “fire” or “lit” for at least 5 years (in my experience). And the absolute worst, most cringe-worthy line of Taylor Swift’s entire discography, from her song “Eldest Daughter” is “But I’m not a bad b****, and this isn’t savage”. I am truly surprised that nobody on Taylor Swift’s team informed her that nobody refers to themselves as a “bad b****”, and it’s even worse because this song was anticipated to be the best on the album. The 5th track on Taylor Swift’s previous releases are generally known to be the best song on the whole album, examples including hits such as “Dear John”, “All Too Well”, and “Delicate”. Well, Taylor has ruined her streak with “Eldest Daughter” by making listeners physically cringe each time they reach the chorus (again, nobody wants to hear her talk about how she isn’t savage). The Life of a Showgirl is the first time her age has actually affected the way her fans view her, mainly because it hurts to watch her try and miserably fail to relate to the younger audience.
Despite my strong opinions about this album, I will be a Swiftie until the day I die. After seeing her in concert twice and proudly in her top 0.01% of listeners for multiple consecutive years, one bad album could never ruin my perception of her. I hope it doesn’t for anyone reading this either. Whether you agree that The Life of a Showgirl is a disappointing album or not, Taylor Swift will forever be remembered as a talented, authentic, influential woman who has used her fame and fortune for the better of the world.
