By Ariel Bronikowski, 2029 Local resident Jessica Pierson just returned from a “fun” weekend trip. She claims “I had the best time ever!” Only the […]
Category: April Fools
Freshman Boys Collude to All Score a 67 on Recent Physics Quiz
By Tim Dolan, Lookout Advisor In a pattern that defies all odds, every freshman boy in Ms. Hansel’s Physics class scored a 67 on their […]
Millennial Teachers Encourage Student to Cheat “The Old Fashioned Way”
By Tim Dolan, Lookout Advisor After receiving a combined 60 of 61 student essays that were clearly written by Chat GPT, (the remaining essay being […]
730 Days Later: The Costa Rica Crisis Continues
By: Taevy Malone, 2028 Today marks the second year anniversary of the Costa Rica Trip members becoming stranded in Chicago, with still no resolution in […]
Sam Altman Arrested for Theft
By Zoe Rodriguez 2028 Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, has been arrested under accusation of conducting a string of robberies across the country. The specific […]
Student Gambling on Staff Absences Boosts Community and Test Scores
By Tim Dolan, Lookout Advisor Following the success of gambling on non-sports events through prediction markets like Kalshi and Polymarket, a shadowy group of BHS […]
Previous Teacher Work Experiences
By: Ayah Rizk, 2027 Mrs. Irving While Mrs. Irving spends her time at BHS teaching Geometry and Precalculus, many are unaware of her past job […]
Following Success of BHS’s Mean Girls, English Teachers Accused of Starting Student Burn Book
By: Timothy Dolan, Advisor Following the rousing success of Bedford High School’s spring musical Mean Girls, an investigation was opened into rumors that the faculty […]
Freshman Boy Intentionally Picks Up After Self
By Timothy Dolan, Advisor Tuesday April 1, 2025, 1:08 PM A mere 53 minutes after carelessly tossing three Wrigly’s Doublemint wrappers and a damp, sticky […]
Top 5 Perfume Scents for Introverts
By: Isabel Gittins, 2027 Have you ever been to a family barbecue that has become a little bit too awkward? You and your distant aunt […]