By Ariel Bronikowski, 2029
Local resident Jessica Pierson just returned from a “fun” weekend trip. She claims “I had the best time ever!” Only the whole time she spent 94% of her waking hours documenting the trip!
“It was so relaxing,” said Jessica Pierson, 29, while scrolling through 1,243 nearly identical photos of herself holding a latte in front of a rustic wooden door. “I feel like I really connected with nature, especially when I spent 45 minutes finding the perfect aesthetic angle to make the mountain view look “undiscovered for Instagram.”
“The key is to not actually look at the sunset, but to backlight yourself against the sunset,” explained Pierson, who took a break from kayaking to take a “candid” video of herself in the kayak, which required her to paddle back and forth five times to get the lighting right. “If you don’t spend 20 minutes editing the color of the water to look more turquoise, What’s the point?”
Her trip documented over 300 photos of food that got cold while the lighting was adjusting, and 150 photos of herself laughing, “I’m just glad I didn’t waste my time watching the waterfall with my own eyes,” Jessica noted. My 4K iPhone footage really captures the essence of the water”
The highlight of her trip, however, was a scenic hiking trail where Jessica sat in a crowded parking lot, took a selfie with a tree, and immediately headed back to the hotel to edit, successfully “experiencing” the wilderness without getting dirt on her shoes.
“It’s about memories,” said Jessica, looking at a photo of a restaurant menu on her phone screen, “And if I don’t see it through a screen, how can I be sure I was really there?“
